Dear Lorene Scafaria,
I thought I should sit down and write you a letter. I just want to say I miss you. I know I’m only an obsessed fan and you don’t know me personally but I feel like our interaction on Twitter has brought me very close to you. As close as I can ever get in this lifetime (remember we are going to be best friends in the next lifetime. I’ll ask my spirit guides.)
Anyway, I was just sitting here thinking about the happiness you brought me over time. (I hope this doesn’t come off as creepy). But anyway, I remember all the tweets you ever tweeted me even in my old account, and how happy that made me feel and I remember when you tweeted during my darkest days and it’d brighten up my days. I will never ever ever forget that. And then I remember the time I got to interview you. All my cousins in the motherland found out about that one. I don’t know if you understand how much I cherish the friendship I keep envisioning we have in my little obsessed mind. Right now I’m moving to Botswana and I feel sad cause I feel like I’ll be moving away from you and all my other Twitter friends even though you guys are only a million miles away still.
Anyway, I don’t really know the point of this letter except that I just wanted to tell you that I miss you in my twife. And I miss my earlier days on Twitter when you “talked” to me more. I understand you are a very busy person and I’m very sorry for my selfishness but…
Anyway, I won’t take up too much of your time. I have a lot more to say I just don’t know how to say it. But one thing you should know is that it warms up my heart every time it crosses my mind that you exist. The people that are in your life are very lucky to have you. I feel like you are an angel among us.
Your obsessed crazed number one fan,
PS: When you have time please listen to Andrew Gold’s Thank You For Being A Friend.